Friday, May 27
really tired. realised i haven't blogged for a long while. oh well. if you want to know how things have been, check the other blog. if you even get what i mean. heh.
the holidays are here. i dread cap. i'm such an idiot. i wanted it and now i am afraid. what if they're all bitchy or maybe too fantastically cool to bother with me? one whole week of that and i'd shrivel up and die.
after that -ya camp. ahhh. torture camp? i'm not used to torture camps anymore.
and after
that - mug mug mug for blocks. i feel myself not-so-secretly falling apart.
mirror mirror where's the crystal palace? i like tori amos. her songs make me want to fall apart very dramatically. and oh yes, el tango de roxanne. the tango of roxanne. ;) haha. wonders of learning spanish for eep. sighhh the sheer raw beauty of the harmony, the possessivene and cruel need of love.
damnit what's love? twisted love isn't love.. is it? how can love ever be wrong? if it's wrong, it's not love. i still believe in soulmates. after all the bullshit of the past months, i still believe in soulmates.. but where is mine?
oh, newsflash - i am officially,
officially,
officially over her. yes siree. because she tied her hair up! argh!! why, great heavens above, why??
why?? i abhor fate's decidely strange decisions. she was so hot with funky hair. sighhh. now she's lukewarm. not even cool. and i shall never look at her again. even though she's still got the same cheekbones and legs etc etc but it's just not the same without that eye-catching, head-turning hair. sigh. well i had a fantastic 3 months staring at the back/side of her head during lectures. i hate her. :( she ruined my day. seriously, 2 cm of pony tail? why bother.
i think i shall change target. hmm. i think annie knows what i'm talking about. hahahah shit i hope no one else does. sigh don't tell me.. if it's true.. i'll just
die. i'm always unlucky in the affairs of the heart. never get what i want, and sometimes i get what i don't want. but being me, i often end up wanting what i've thrown away. and then i change my mind. and change it again. and again. and again. so i'm both fickle and dead-loyal to my crushes? this doesn't make sense. i'm shutting up.
it must've been love.
8:58 pm
xoxo
